


To accept things as they are

by StarQueen27548



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Drama, F/F, First Kiss, Love, Psychological struggle, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24020269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarQueen27548/pseuds/StarQueen27548
Summary: Elsa has moved with the Northuldra and is trying to find herself in this new situation, and what does Maren mean in all of that. Elsamaren realizing they are in love.
Relationships: Anna/Kristoff (Disney), Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 76





	1. To learn how to breathe

Elsa had moved with the Northuldra a year ago. The first three months were the hardest. She was rather lost, anxious and constantly wondering wether she had taken the right choice by staying. It had been hard to find her own place among the Northuldra, and even though she felt like she belonged there more than in Arendelle, she didn’t feel totally comfortable.

For the next three months she realized it was not with the Northuldra that she belonged. She belonged to the forest. She belonged to the extent of trees and leaves that fulfilled the once covered by mist mountains. She belonged on her own.

By the time she had been away from Arendelle six months, she finally understood. She belonged to the endless night skies. Alone. Somewhere the silence was so loud her thoughts started to lower their voice. Somewhere she could breathe. 

She didn’t belong to the people, she had to be a bridge between the spirits and the humans. She didn’t belong to either, and at the same time she belonged to both worlds.

So she decided her role had to be that. A bridge that would unite the spirits and the humans, even though that left her right in the middle of both.

As soon as she understood, she stopped worrying about fitting in, and felt herself free. Free from having to be someone she was not. Free from having to conceal her emotions because of how they could affect other people. And just like that, she found herself a way to breathe.

For the next 6 months she built a house, lost in the deep of the woods, where no one could find her when she needed to disappear. And since she was the fifth spirit she always had an excuse to disappear. Most of the time she would spend her days and nights in her tent around the Northuldra, or visiting her sister in Arendelle and staying there a couple of nights. But when she felt trapped, she had this little place nobody knew about where she could run to.

The fact that she needed so much time on her own didn’t mean that she didn’t enjoy other people’s company. Not everyone's company, but she sometimes liked to have human interaction, for she was human too even if she was not like everybody else. She didn’t know how to make friends, because she lacked the trust to be open. She couldn’t stand loud noises or places full of people for too long. And the thing is that she had been forcing herself to stand in places that made her feel uncomfortable due to her duties, but she hadn’t had the opportunity to find out if she could enjoy those situation at some extent.

This year had been full of discoveries for her. When she stopped worrying about fitting in and concealing, she started to accept things for what they were, and not for what she thought they had to be. She started doing the things she needed to do, without overthinking who could be affected or how weird people might think she was.

She was surprised to learn that she, indeed, enjoyed those places full with noise and people every once in a while. She found out she sometimes needed to be alone and when those times arrived she would go to the house in the woods for a while. She found out she had good and bad times, that she would wake up one day and feel full of energy and other days she wouldn’t have the strength to get out of the bed. That was okay too. She stopped judging herself and accepting that she was just like that.

Also she understood that making acquaintances was easy for her, and she could bear that. But she wasn’t so good at making friends because she lacked of the ability to explain herself. She had trouble putting into words the things that wandered her head. Trouble trying to explain how deeply she felt everything sometimes and how empty she could feel at some other times. Trouble explaining how overwhelmed everything could become at some points and trouble letting herself be loved, specially those days she felt like she didn’t deserve to be loved.

Her head had always been her worst enemy, and she hadn’t found anyone that understood her. Her sister had been there for her these last years, but it was not understanding she found in Anna. Anna accepted, Anna didn’t judge her, but Anna didn’t understand and she didn’t know how to explain even if she wanted to. And sometimes she needed being understood, not just accepted.

But then she met Honeymaren. It was easy for Elsa to communicate with her. With Honeymaren words turned superfluous, for she was somehow able to get Elsa like nobody else. When to give her space, when to talk to her, what was wandering in her thoughts when Elsa looked to the endless dark sea… Honeymaren made it easy for Elsa to open, because she let Elsa be herself.

Honeymaren had helped Elsa to learn how everything worked around the Northuldra over this past year. She had taught her all of their history and they had spent countless nights alone around a fire, watching the stars neither of them had seen in their lives. It’s true that Honeymaren had spent her life surrounded by the fog, but Elsa had spent her life locked inside of a castle, locked inside of a room, and more important: surrounded by a fog inside of her own head. Sometimes at night Elsa would watch the stars from her balcony, but she hadn’t really appreciated them until now.

Honeymaren listened carefully to all the stories Elsa told her about Arendelle, about books she had read and places she wanted to go. They spent those nights talking about their fears, their luck, their desires, their theories about life… Just lying there on the ground, under the stars, holding hands everytime they could.

And it made Elsa understand that she wasn’t good at making friends, but the friends she had found along the way were the best ones. Kristoff was like a brother to her, somehow they got parts of each other. They were both solitaire and had a hard time being ''normal'', also they both loved Anna. On the other hand, there was Honeymaren, this kind and warm woman who understood her and was able to unravel her thoughts even when Elsa was uncapable of understending them herself.

Honeymaren wasn’t that good at making friends either. Her whole life she had been surrounded by the same people and she just didn’t click with anyone other than her brother. Until Elsa came along. The moment Honeymaren saw her, she understood. Her whole life she’d seen friends around her, lovers, people that once didn’t know each other and now were family. She had always been curious about how that could be posible and the explanation she had been given was about something higher than communication or similarities. Nobody was able to really grasp how human relationships worked like that.

When she saw Elsa everything enclosed. For the first time she showed an interest in knowing someone. Something inside of her just pulled her to Elsa. When Elsa decided to stay she had the chance to get to know her better and somehow they had become best friends over this last year. Honeymaren was quick to realize that Elsa wasn’t like nobody she had ever met before. She could feel how deeply hurt Elsa was, she could feel Elsa suffocating every once in a while. She was able to know when Elsa needed to be left alone and when to pay her company. Elsa was like this puzzle hidden behind the highest walls, but Honeymaren had found a way through. She wanted to unravel all of the mysteries in Elsa. To be trusted like that by her, it made her feel special. 

But it was more than that. Elsa made her laugh like nobody ever had, the laughed together, they enjoyed each other's company, they felt safe around the other. Honeymaren had found a friend at last, and she didn't want to lose her. When they were together it was like a little bubble where they could just exist. Honey hated when Elsa disappeared, it's not that she didn't understand, it was just that she wished they could disappear together. Honey wished that Elsa could breathe even if she was around, but she accepted it, for she really cared for Elsa en didn't want to cause her trouble or harm. So she just swallowed her own needs everytime and step aside for Elsa to be able to breathe. 

* * *

It was summer, and the Northuldran people had a summer festival that marked the start of the season. The night air was warm and soft and there was music. All the northuldran people were there, eating and drinking, and Anna was there too. To establish relationships between the two villages it was important that the Queen attended these events, even some balls had been thrown in honor of the Northuldran people in the Castle of Arendelle.

Kristoff was goofing around with Ryder and Sven, in a contest of eating carrots, Anna was dancing, even Mathias was there. Elsa was talking with everyone but she had little chance at speaking with Anna that night. Honey was watching Ryder and Kristoff, but she couldn't avoid giving Elsa some gazes over the evening. 

Elsa was so happy, watching people that once were enemies now were enjoying a festival together, fixing old wounds. At some point in the night she leaned against a tree, watching all of the people she loved in just one place, having so much fun. But a feeling close to longing suddenly hit her. She was having a little trouble breathing all of a sudden, so she discretely walked away from the festival and to the river. 

Anna had been so worried about Elsa, she was overprotective of her, but she was her sister and the most important thing to her. She had been keeping an eye on her the whole night, as well as Honey. They both watched her walking away from the noise and the people. Honey could sense even in the distance Elsa starting to suffocate. Honey went to Anna calmly and took her hand to catch her attention.

\- Don't worry Anna, I'll go check on her. It is important that you stay here. 

\- Thank you Maren, I really appreciate it. - Anna squeezed Maren's hand and Maren started walking to where Elsa was. 

Honeymaren wasn't sure about where Elsa could have gone, but she was sure she wouldn't have gone far and the river was a good choice. 

The moon was high in the night sky, today it was full. Honey walked until she found Elsa, sitting in a rock. The moonlight illuminated her skin and made Elsa glow. The night air was soft and warm against Maren's skin. Elsa was so lost inside her own head she hadn't heard anyone coming near her. Maren didn't want to scare her, so she got close and sat next to her, far enough so that Elsa could see her. 

They looked at each other for a moment. Everything was so silent, with the river running and the crickets making noise. The air between the branches of the trees. Words were meaningless sometimes between them, with a look they were able to communicate as good as with words. Maren could feel Elsa drowning, even though she was really good at hiding it. Years of practice made Elsa unable to show her emotions just like that, and it was rather useful. 

Maren sat closer to Elsa and took her hand, intertwining her fingers with Elsa's. - Are you okay? -


	2. I have tried to understand

Maren sat closer to Elsa and took her hand, intertwining her fingers with Elsa's. - '' _Are you okay?_ '' -

Elsa stared at her a few seconds and then lowered her head to look at the river. She started frowning – '' _Y-Yes…Yes, I am okay. It’s just that…I don’t know. I just saw you all there, so happy, I felt inmense joy to see you all together like that. All the people I care about together… I was fine and happy and then I started feeling… I don’t know how to describe it.''-_

Elsa was still staring at the river, but Maren hadn’t stopped looking at her. Elsa was such a beautiful soul. She was so kind and innocent, Maren felt tenderness everytime she was around Elsa. _– ''Like homesickness maybe?''-_

Elsa looked surprised at Maren. – '' _Yes, something like that…_ '' - Elsa didn’t know how much she needed to be understood until she found this woman. Maren was able to look inside of her darkest thoughts and get out the vital information.

Maren rested her head in Elsa’s shoulder and stared at the water, holding her hand. They stayed there, quiet, for a while. Elsa adored how easy it was to be around Maren, how she was able to know exactly what she needed. Elsa was caressing Maren’s arm gently with her fingers. To every touch Maren’s heart skipped a beat.

Honey cleared her throat and lifted up her head to look at Elsa. – ' _'I have an idea. Maybe we could go back, the party is going to end soon. You can go see your sister, she was kind of worried, and after the party is over, there is the after-party. You’ll find that we are really fun people and we enjoy a good party. But your sister will officially be dismissed and you could go back to Arendelle tonight with her, stay there for the night at least.''_ –

Elsa looked at Maren, it was not a bad idea, actually. – '' _Maybe… you could go to Arendelle with me? If you want to, I mean…it’s not that you have to, it’s just that…''_-

Maren caught Elsa’s attention by placing her hand over Elsa’s cheek. – _''I know I don’t have to, but I would love to. Maybe we could stay there for the night and tomorrow you could show me the palace. I would love to see where you grew up.'' –_

Elsa smiled. – '' _Okay, then_.'' – She gazed for a moment at the night sky. – _The stars are beautiful tonight_. –

-'' _It’s tragic. They are so beautiful, yet not even all of them together could be comparable to how beautiful you look tonight._ ''-

Elsa flushed and smiled as she looked to the ground.

-'' _Come on, Your Majesty. Let’s go back to the party._ ''-

As they came back to the party Anna rushed to go talk to them. – _Elsa, why did you leave? Are you okay?-_

Elsa knew Anna meant well, but she really overwhelmed her with all her worry. It’s not that she didn’t appreciate her sister worrying but she worried over the smallest things, and that didn’t make Elsa any good. Maren sensed how Elsa was starting to suffocate once again, so she stepped in.

\- _Yes, she was just a little dizzy because of the smoke and the music_.-

Elsa looked at Maren grateully and back to Anna. – _Yes, I am feeling better now, I just needed some fresh air. By the way, I was wondering if it would be okay that Maren and I came back with you to the castle tonight and stayed there tonight. I would like to show Maren the castle tomorrow.-_

Anna was surprised but deeply excited, she took the girls' hands. - _ **SLEEPOVER! I WOULD LOVE THAT ELSA!** -_ She went happily jumping to Kristoff , who had just lost the contest to Ryder, telling him that tonight they were having a sleepover.

Maren gave Elsa a frightened look and Elsa chuckled. – _Don’t worry, she’s just really…she gets excited over the smallest things, she’ll relax at some point._ -

- _I hope so, because I don’t think I can keep up with…_ \- They looked at Anna, that was still jumping around Kristoff. – _That… enthusiasm…_ -

Elsa laughed – _Come on, let’s eat something before heading to Arendelle_.-

* * *

The journey back to Arendelle had been kind of… insufferable. Anna kept on talking about all of the things they could do and how excited she was and how awesome the festival had been… Elsa really loved her but, she could be quite intense sometimes.

When they entered the castle she was still talking about the sleepover. – _And we could play games…or maybe we could make a fashion show!_ -

- _Or maybe…we could just go to bed?_ – Elsa’s voice was soft and calm, trying not to make her sister feel bad.

\- _Oh, yes…Yes, yes, you are right, it’s just that I am excited that Maren is here. It’s been a while since someone stayed here, but bed is okay. But tomorrow you won’t get rid of me that easily_ \- 

Elsa chuckled – _We’ll see. Good night Anna._ –

Maren said good night to Anna and Kristoff, too, and started following Elsa.

Maren was amazed at how big the castle was, she had been to Arendelle before, but never to the castle. Everything was incredible, with tall ceilings and big doors. It was different than anything she had seen before.

\- _You can stay tonight in the room next to mine. It is a guest’s room, it should be ready. It’s this one._ \- Elsa opened a door that led to a huge room with a lot of books in shelves, a bed and a balcony.

\- _This room is… this is bigger than all of the tents in the forest put together…_ \- Maren couldn’t close her eyes out of impresion.

\- _Yes, I know, it is really huge._ -

Maren kept staring at the height of the ceiling - _It is so big that you can feel your thoughts echoing back even without making a noise. You… must have felt really lonely in here…-_

Elsa lowered her head and didn’t answer.

Honeymaren realized by Elsa’s expresion that she shouldn’t have said that. She took ker hand in a conforting way to call her attention. - _Maybe you could show me your room?_

Elsa looked at Maren and smiled at her. – _I would love that, actually._ –

The girls went to the room next door holding hands. Elsa opened the door and Maren gave a sad look. She only could think how lonely her room seemed too. Elsa stared at the floor embarassed, imagining what was going through Maren’s mind.

Maren carried Elsa away from her thoughts by giving her a hug. Maren placed her arms around Elsa’s neck and Elsa found her way around the brunnette’s waist. Maren had her head rested over Elsa’s shoulder and Elsa could feel her breath against her neck.

Without separating not even one inch, Elsa started to talk softly - _You know…it’s okay…I have tried to understand that… Those days are gone now. But… Sometimes I feel like that loneliness I felt then, it was planted in my head like seeds and it has grown so much that I will never stop feeling like that. Like tonight, that mix of loneliness and homesickness that strucked me by seeing all of you happy and together. Maren, I don’t know what is wrong with me…_ -

Maren broke the hug enough to look Elsa in the eyes and caressed her face gently. – _Elsa, there is nothing wrong with you. You are a sensitive person, you have the ability to feel things too deeply, and you get overwhelmed sometimes. That doesn’t mean there is nothing wrong with you._ -

- _But I can’t… I don’t know… It’s like I can’t control it and it’s so frustrating… It’s like I can’t seem to be able to feel what I am supposed to feel in every moment._ -

\- _Who can say what you have to feel or you don’t? What you feel is what it is, and it’s okay. I know it can be frustrating, and you’ll learn to control it over time, I am sure of that. And until that happens, you have a lot of people who love you, just the way you are.-_

 _\- I am not so sure, Maren… I think that the people who love me just put up with it because they have no other choice. Sometimes I think it would be better if I wasn’t… around_.-

Maren broke the hug completely, took Elsa to the bed and sat. She held Elsa’s hand and sat really close. – _I understand that you can feel like that, Elsa. But I see how Anna cares for you, she just wants the best for you… And I can’t talk for Anna, or Kristoff or Olaf, but… I don’t just ''put up with you''. I really love you, just the way you are, I don’t care that you sometimes need to run away, or hide behind the highests walls or that you keep me outside. I don’t care because if that’s what you need, I will always support you. And you see…Since you arrived to it, my life has only improved. So it wouldn’t be better if you weren’t around, because life is better now for me, thanks to you.-_

Elsa was shedding a few tears and frowning. – _You love me?_ –

\- _How could I not love you? The moment I saw you I already knew you would change my life, I just didn’t realize how much. I love you, Elsa. You are really important to me._ -

Elsa hugged Maren tightly and kissed her in the cheek. – _I love you too. And I have no doubt, that my life is better now that I know you_.-

The girls stayed hugging for a while, feeling each other’s warm and breath. Maren finally broke the hug and got up. – _Well, you should get some sleep. See you tomorrow?_ –

Elsa smiled at her. – _See you tomorrow._ \- Maren gave Elsa a forehead kiss and left the room.

Maren really meant everything she had just said to Elsa, but she hadn’t been completely honest. She did love her, but it was not just the way she would love a friend. For her, Elsa meant something more but she wasn’t ready to tell her just yet. Maren was afraid that Elsa wouldn't feel the same and might run away for good if she found out, so she kept all of her love hidden in a coffer inside her chest. It was funny, she thought, how the same feeling could hurt so much when she kept it inside, and how good it had felt to set it free and say it out loud, even if it was just for a moment. But losing Elsa… for keeping her around she would keep that feeling a secret for the rest of her life.

Maren got into bed thinking about this beautiful woman she has the honor to call her best friend. The truth is that she thought about Elsa every night, and every morning she was eager to find if she could see Elsa that day because for her, being able to see her was the best part of her days. 

Elsa was lying in her bed, too. Deep down she hoped that Maren loved her not just in a friendly way. But on the other hand, Elsa felt trapped with the idea of being something more with Maren. It was so frustrating, wanting two opposite things at the same time with the same intensity. To be loved and not to be loved, all together. But everytime she looked at Maren, she watched those lips, those hands… she just wanted to touch them forever. And yet she felt like running away just as the thought of that touch. Elsa didn’t know if Maren felt the same, for her, it was impossible, though. She knew she loved her more than as a friend but probably Maren wasn’t into girls and it didn’t matter actually because Elsa was determined not to find it out.


	3. I have a plan

Maren had a rough night. The bed was the most comfortable place she had ever lied in, but the room was just too big, too cold. She had never slept away from the forest and after seeing the castle she had spent the whole night trying to put together the pieces missing to grasp Elsa’s mind.

As soon as the sun was starting to rise from the horizon she got up. She started wandering the halls, a little lost. Suddenly she heard a door opening behind her.

\- Anna! Kristoff! I thought I was the only one awake and I didn’t want to disturb Elsa, so I thought about giving myself a little tour around…though I think I got lost.-

\- Hahaha don’t worry, this castle is too big. Sometimes I still find new hidden rooms even though I’ve lived here my whole life. Let’s go to the kitchen!-

Maren started following Anna and Kristoff.

Kristoff started talking to Maren. – The first times I stayed here I thought it was too huge, I used to sleep in a barn and all of this…Well…Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it over time. How did you sleep?-

Maren was a mostly surprised about Kristoff giving for granted that she was going to spend more nights in the castle in the future. Enough nights to get used to its size, to its loneliness.

\- Not that good, but it’s okay. The bed was just too comfortable, I guess.-

\- Haha yeah, I know that feeling. Are you staying here tonight? –

\- Well…I guess not, I mean, Elsa asked me to stay here tonight but I probably should return to the forest.-

\- How is Elsa doing up there?-

\- Well… I see her happy, when I get to see her. She is just so…I don’t know, she is a mistery all herself. She is trying to understand her role and her connection with everything, I assume.-

\- And how are you both doing?-

\- What do you mean?-

\- Are you two okay? Like together?-

Maren got nervous at the thought of Kristoff thinking that they were a couple.

\- We are not together!- Maren stared at the ceiling embarassed.

Kristoff face turned red and looked away - Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to imply…I mean, I thought you were…Okay, sorry, forget it-

Anna stopped dead and turned to Maren. – ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH MY SISTER? – She looked serious, almost angry.

Maren was rather scared and looked everywhere hoping that Elsa wasn’t around. – NO! I mean, would that be wrong? –

Anna faced towards Kristoff and beated him in the arm – YOU KNEW AND HADN’T TOLD ME?-

\- I didn’t know, she just said that she’s not! I don’t know I just assumed, they seem too close, and they look each other a lot. I just noticed and assumed, I didn’t think I had to tell you anything -

Anna faced Maren again. – So _YOU ARE_ in love with my sister! I hadn’t thought about it being wrong or right…I mean, it’s weird I think, I have never seen two woman in love with each other. Although I have read about it… It’s not common, but I don’t know, how could that be wrong? –

\- Well, okay, okay, please, just lower your voice.- Maren sighed and looked at both of them.- I admit I might have a little crush on Elsa. More like a major crush. But anyway, I don’t think she feels the same way about me so… Please, don’t tell her. I have been hiding it because I am scared she might just get scared and disappear if I tell her.-

Anna’s face turned from serious to overly excited in just one second and started walking to the kitchen and talking really fast – YOU ARE GOING TO BE LIKE A SISTER TO ME! PLEASE LET ME BE YOUR MAID OF HONOR AND WE COULD DO LIKE DOUBLE DATES AND…

Maren stopped paying attention and turned to Kristoff as Anna kept on talking at a rapid pace. – Has she even heard the part about me not wanting Elsa to know? Or the part that Elsa doesn’t feel the same? –

\- Weeeeeell… She will… relax and we can try to explain it again to her. –

\- Kristoff, please, Elsa can’t find out.-

Kristoff placed her hand over Maren’s arm to try to confort her. – Don’t worry, I will keep an eye on her. So… Why would you think that she doesn’t feel the same? I mean, I’ve seen you both and I can feel there is something between you two.- 

They kept following Anna that was still excited talking about all of the things they were going to do once Maren and Elsa were officialy a couple.

\- First of all, I am not sure she is into girls. I don’t know what your customs and beliefs are about that subject. And I can sense for Anna’s reaction that it is not a subject that is treated openly in Arendelle, maybe if she found out that I like girls she would feel disgusted and wouldn't want to know anymore from me. And that's just the first part. She is so… introverted. I don’t think that she would even be interested in a relationship even if she liked me that way. And why would she like me? She is so perfect and she is the fifth spirit and I… I am just me.

\- I can’t know if she is into girls or not. But I can see that she is into you. Maybe all of the good things you think about her, she thinks the same about you too. But you can’t find out if you don’t tell her. I thought Anna wouldn’t feel the same as I did, and I braced myself and told her because the possibility of losing her at some point weighed less than everything I could win by telling her. And you know, I wasn’t ready either at first. It’s okay if you don’t feel ready just yet, but you should think about it. I think you really do her good, and it is obvious how much you care about her.

\- Thank you, Kristoff.- 

Anna had finally shut up as they arrived to the kitchen. Kristoff put himself in front of Anna and placed her hands over her shoulders. – Anna, I know you are excited. I am too. But you have to promise Maren you won’t tell Elsa how she feels. It is not yours to tell, she’ll tell if she wants to, whenever she is ready. Promise?

Anna looked at Maren. – Of course, Maren, I won’t tell Elsa a thing. It’s just that I really like the idea of you two being together. You are almost family after all, we really appreciate you and Ryder.

\- Anna that’s very sweet of you. We think of you as almost family too. Ryder and I, we are so happy to have met you both. Thank you so much.-

Elsa entered the kitchen. They all got quiet at the same time and looked at her. Elsa was confused to the reaction. – So…Good morning, people… Did I miss something? – She took an apple and started eating eat as she looked everybody stranged.

\- No, we were just talking about that you two should stay tonight too. Maren sleep awful, she could sleep with you! –

Maren subtly hit Anna as she choked. Kristoff intervened trying to save the situation. – Actually, maybe you could go make that tour and we’ll talk about that later, maybe? –

Anna took an apple and gave it to Maren, took Elsa and Maren over the soulders and guided them out of the kitchen. – Yes, girls, go enjoy your tour, there are really nice places in the castle and maybe you could go to the village! –

Elsa looked at Anna while she was carrying her out of the kitchen – What about the ‘you won’t get rid of me that easily’? Aren’t you coming?-

\- No, no, Queen duties await me! Go have fun, see you at lunch. BYE!- 

Anna came back in the kitchen to find Kristoff looking kind of tired. – Anna, keeping this a secret is going to be damn hard. I love you, but you are horrible at being subtle.-

\- Yes, you’re right. But I have a plan. We need to find out if Elsa loves Maren back! Then we can you know… be subtle and subtly tell them that they love each other and that they shouldn’t be so subtle about it.-

\- Anna why can’t you just let them take it at their own pace?-

\- Because it’s Elsa, and Maren, she doesn’t seem so smart. If we just let them take it at their pace they won’t move. You know that.-

\- Yeaaaah…I have to agree with you on that. Leave Elsa to me, at least.-

\- I love you.- Anna kissed Kristoff and left the kitchen jumping a little. Kristoff took another apple and got closer to the door as he read Anna’s mind. – Oh I forgot to take some food, why would I be in the kitchen if it weren’t to take food?- 

\- Got you.- Kristoff gave Anna the apple and sighed. -Love you, honey, see you later!-

Kristoff adored every part if this girl. She was as intense as his whole troll family together. Everything in just one person. He felt so lucky to have found her and to have the chance to keep her everyday. And she was right, he had to find out wether Elsa was into Maren or not or that relationship would finish before ever starting.


	4. Stay for a while

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it and I hope that you are liking it. Don't hesitate in telling me anything you would like more of or less of or whatever you want to. And if there are spelling mistakes just tell me, English is not my first language.

Maren and Elsa kept on walking in silence for a few moments until Elsa talked.

\- What was that? –

\- What was what?- Maren said that as if she didn’t know what Elsa was talking about, eating the apple and avoiding her look, but even without seeing her, Maren knew that Elsa was giving her one of those ‘Do you think I am a fool?’ looks. She knew she couldn’t deceive Elsa.

\- Nothing, it was just that I slept poorly and I was telling them that I should go back to the forest. But they insisted that I stayed at least for tonight too.-

\- Do you want to?-

\- Well…I don’t know. It is the first time I had ever slept out of the forest. And I think one of the reasons I slept so bad was because part of me stayed there tonight. And I know I will get used to that feeling but… I don’t know if I feel that safe here, it’s hard to explain.-

Elsa stopped and sighed. She looked at the large corridor in front of her and softened her voice as she kept staring to the distance.-The truth is that… I don’t usually come here and stay more than one night because this place…This place somehow catches the worst parts of me and let them out. So I avoid staying for too long. But last night, I felt as if I could control that pull. And I think it is because part of me has always been in that forest, too. And my whole life I‘ve been fighting a pull that dragged me to where that part of me was, somewehere I didn’t know existed. But when you came with me last night... Suddenly I felt as if that part that used to be missing... it was right here with me, and not somewhere I couldn’t get to.-

Elsa stopped talking and kept on walking.

Maren took her by the hand and made her face her. – So you want to try to stay more than just one night to see if you can make this place feel diferent than before. –

\- Yes, and it would be very useful to have you around. Because when you are around I feel safer.-

\- Okay, let’s stay here tonight. But tomorrow can we go back to the forest? I am afraid that Ryder might have made something awful like letting the reindeers escape or something like that.-

Elsa chuckled – Yes, he is good at doing those things. Thank you, Honey. I really appreciate you staying. –

\- Anything for you.-

* * *

The girls had spent the day discovering every single one of the rooms in the castle. And Elsa had been telling Maren every story that ever happened in each room, as the brunette payed the closest of attentions to every detail. Every room in that castle was part of Elsa, and she wanted to discover every inch of this woman.

Kristoff had been the whole day talking to Sven trying to find the best way to find out about Elsa’s feelings towards Maren. The truth is that he understood Maren’s fears, for Elsa was quite unpredictable. But being open about it worked with Maren, so he thought that it would work with Elsa as well. He just had to find the right moment.

At dinner he tried endless times to be alone with Elsa, but everytime he tried, someone or something distracted them and he couldn’t find the right moment.

In the end, the girls went to bed and Kristoff hadn’t been able to talk to Elsa.

Nevertheless Anna seemed quite happy.

\- Anna… If I haven’t found out anything… why are you so happy?-

\- My dear Kristoff because… you think that you can solve everything by talking. And me… I have my own plan. Sometimes people need a little…push in the right direction.

\- And what direction is that?-

\- The direction that puts Maren on Elsa’s bed tonight.-

\- Ooookay… and how exactly are you going to make that happen?-

\- I have a plan, but I need you. We have to make noises outside of Maren’s window and you know like shadows and things to make her feel uncomfortable. Y already put Olaf inside Maren’s closet to make noises inside the room. She’ll go to Elsa’s room. I am sure.-

\- My love, you are evil. But it might work.-

The plan was going just right. They could see Maren through the window having the worst of nights. She was used to the noises in the forest, she was able to identify them easily. But all of this was new, and it wasn’t like last night. So she got up and left her room to relax a little, convinced that all the noises were just in her head.

As she was coming back from the corridors she stopped in front of Elsa’s room. The idea of coming back to that empty room was just overwhelming right now. At 2 AM the smallest of things get to seem the scariests.

Maren slowly opened the door and entered the room trying not to make much noise. She got closer to Elsa’s bed and sat beside her. She had never seen Elsa sleeping. To see her so vulnerable, so pure… Maren didn’t want to disturb such a perfect piece of living art.

Elsa turned in the bed towards her and slowly opened her eyes out of surprise. – Maren? –

\- I am sorry, Elsa. I didn’t want to disturb you, I just… I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to see if you were awake, then I saw you weren’t and I was just leaving. I am sorry, go back to sleep.-

She started to get up but she was stopped by Elsa’s voice – No, wait. Stay for a while, come here.-

Maren went to Elsa’s bed en laid beside her. The girls were facing each other. – There were too many noises and I felt really lonely.-

\- That’s okay, I know that feeling.-

The moonlight was the only light that entered the room, and Elsa could have sworn that Maren’s eyes had never been more beautiful than under this light. Elsa got closer to Maren and covered her with the blankets as she held her hand.

\- In fact, you could sleep with me tonight if you want to. –

\- That would be really nice. Thank you, Elsa.-

Maren got closer to Elsa and rested her head on Elsa’s shoulder, burying her face in her neck and placing every inch of her body against Elsa's. The fright that was inside her couldn’t let her realize how close she was to Elsa, until a gentle breeze of air brought Elsa’s scent to her. Then she realized how close they were and her heart started beating faster. Elsa pressed herself a little more against the brunette and gave her a kiss in the forehead.

\- Good night, Honey.-

\- Good night, Your Majesty.-


	5. Colder than ever

The sunlight was filtering inside the room from the windows and through the tree branches that surrounded Elsa's balcony. It lighted directly on Maren’s face and woke her up. Elsa was beside her, distracted staring at the ceiling and holding her.

Maren pressed her lips against Elsa’s cheek. – Are you okay? –

Elsa avoided the question. – Hey, you are awake. – Elsa stared at Maren for a moment. How could a girl that had just woken up look so gorgeous. Almost without realizing the boundaries between her thoughts and her words she let them slip in a soft whisper. – You look really beautiful when you wake up. I think it might be the most beautiful I’ve ever seen you.-

Maren flushed and looked down. Elsa suddenly realized what she had just said and her face turned red out of embarrasment. She tried not to draw too much attention to that last comment.

\- Maybe we should go get breakfast and say goodbye to Anna, Kristoff and Olaf before heading back to the north.-

\- Yeah, I think that's a good idea.-

* * *

Kristoff and Anna were already in the kitchen.

\- Kristoff, you need to find out. Don’t waste the chance. I will distract Maren and you ask Elsa.- 

\- Yes, yes, I know the plan, don’t worry.- 

The girls entered the kitchen only to find the couple whispering.

\- Good morning my dear sister and my dear Kristoff. How did you sleep?-

\- Someone’s in a really good mood this morning. Is it a special ocasion? – Anna was trying not to look to obvious, but the excitement had always been a difficult thing for her to control.

\- No, no, it’s just. I don’t know, we slept well. That’s it.

Kristoff intervened realizing that Elsa was starting to sense like something was off – I prepared omelet for breakfast!-

The four of them had breakfast and just when Elsa and Maren were going to take off Kristoff asked Elsa if he could speak to her.

\- So… I wanted to ask you… How long have you been dating Maren? - 

Elsa flushed and stared at the floor. – We…we are not dating. Why would you think that? That’s nonsense Kristoff, she’s a girl! That’s not posible, it wouldn’t be acceptable for the Queen of Arendelle. –

Kristoff smiled and sighed relieved. He didn’t need anything else to confirm Elsa’s feelings. – Good thing that you aren’t the Queen anymore. And even if you were, there would be nothing wrong with that.- 

\- Yes, there would be a lot of things wrong. First of all, nobody would accept it. Not Anna, not the people from Arendelle and not the people in the Northuldra. But… It doesn’t matter, we are not dating anyway so…

\- Anna would accept it, you know. We’ve discussed those matters and she accepts love as long as it is consensual. Everything else doesn’t matter to her. Arendelle might not understand that easily, but they would. It is the natural order of things to accept progress. And you’ll find the Northuldra to be more open than you think.-

\- Okay, it’s nice to know that. But it doesn’t have to do anything with me, so I don’t really know why you are telling me all of that.-

\- I see she likes you, you know. In a ‘more than a friend’ way. And you might not be ready, but I see you like her back. I just wanted you to know that Anna would still love you, in fact she’ll be happy for you. And I will love you too, and whoever has a problem with it, will have a problem with all of us. I am not telling you to go and confess your love, I am just saying that if that’s what you wanted, that would be just fine.-

Elsa was really good at hiding her emotions, but she was just in the brink of crying. She was just in the edge, Kristoff had a way of lowering her guard a little. But she found the little strength she had left and told him kind of angrily. – Thanks for your nice speech, Kristoff, but you should really start to learn to mind your own businesses. Take care of Anna.-

That was not how Kristoff thought that would go but he was speechless. Maybe Elsa was right, maybe he had crossed the line. He was just too startled to react, Elsa had never had a bad word towards him. He only could stare as she got on the horse with Maren and started getting further.

The ride back to the forest was silent. Elsa was holding Maren’s waist as Maren lead the horse. They didn’t talk at all, Elsa was just too caught up inside of her own head. Deep down she knew Kristoff was right about her feelings and she felt awful to have treated him like that, but she got scared and acted in defense. Her stomach hurt just at the thought of how awfully she had just treated him.

When they arrived to the forest Ryder came to find them running and kind of weeping. – Maren, thank to the spirits that you are here! It happened again!-

\- You let the reindeers escape again? Ryder it was just one simple task! –

She got off the horse and started going with Ryder as she talked rapidly about how she knew that would happen.

Elsa watched her go and sighed in relieve. She might feel awful, but just being in the forest made her feel better instantly. Although something inside of her chest was growing, like a bubble full of air and made of steel that didn’t let her breathe properly.

She started having the urge to just run away and so she did. She wandered around the forest, searching for something, without realizing that it didn’t matter how far she got, whatever she was searching for was not further, but deeper.

It was just too much, she wasn’t even able to think later than next week, much more less to think about being in a relationship. The fear of getting hurt was just too powerful. And the thought that scared her the most was the certainty that she would end up hurting Maren. That’s what happens when you mess around with something that is broken, you end up cutting yourself. And she was just too broken to be loved.

Besides, why would Maren love her like that or would want to be with her. She was just an insecure girl, too damaged, with the constant urge to run away. Maren would be happier if she wasn’t around. She knew that Maren thought otherwise, but… Maren was wrong.

Although Elsa admitted that it made her feel better to know that her sister would still love her even if she liked girls. Elsa had always too much trouble going around to think about that. But the thought of having to marry a man because it was her duty usually didn’t let her sleep at night back when she was going to be the Queen. It is funny, how she thought herself to be free now, but the worst of the chains were the ones she had tied herself with.

She spent the whole afternoon walking around, thinking wether she should go back to Arendelle and apologize to Kristoff. Thinking about Maren, about herself, about them…She was so sure that it was a bad idea to be something more. She had been convinced with that for so long that in her head the only possibility left for her was to enjoy all of Maren’s touch and treasure them, because it was the most that would happen between them. To have slept next to her that last night, the hugs, the kisses, the hands holding. She prefered not losing that, even that was all that it would ever be.

When the blue in the sky had turned Pink, and the light of the sun was so golden that it reflected perfectly in the water of the river, she found herself in the spot Maren had found her two nights ago. She leaned against a tree, trying to brace herself and return to the Northuldra. A voice behind her made her heart skip a beat.

\- I’ve been looking for you.- 

Elsa’s voice was rather serious. She didn’t turn around, she didn’t need too. – Well, looks like you’ve found me.-

Maren could sense something was off with Elsa. Maren had spent the whole day thinking about her conversation with Kristoff. It was more and more difficult to keep that feeling inside her chest, and she knew that it wasn’t going to take long before the feeling just couldn’t be controlled anymore.

She got closer to Elsa, who avoided looking at her. But if someone could make Elsa lower her guard, it was Maren. Only with the touch of her warm hand her over her shoulder, the steel bubble inside Elsa's chest turned into a warm cloud that lifted all the weight inside of her. Elsa turned to Maren.

\- What’s wrong, Elsa? Is there anything I can do to help? –

Some tears started falling from Elsa’s eyes as she looked to the ground. Maren placed her hands in Elsa’s pale cheeks, lifted her face, looked her in the eyes and dried her tears gently with her fingers.

\- Elsa, you can tell me anything, you know that, right? –

Elsa was trying not to cry harder, for she felt that if she let that happen it would never stop. Elsa nodded. Maren kissed Elsa in the cheek, as the blonde tried not to break.

\- Elsa, please, say something. Let me help you.-

Maren could only keep pressing her lips all around Elsa’s face out of frustration. She wished that she could take Elsa’s pain away with every touch. And she didn’t know, but that’s exactly what she was able to do. And that scared Elsa more than the thought of pain itself.

The kisses all around Elsa’s face were longer and closer to her mouth each time. With every slightly touch of Maren’s lips close to the corner of her lips, Elsa could feel her mind slipping away. Elsa was relaxing with each touch, and Maren was noticing that. So she kept on kissing Elsa in the face. Her skin felt so soft against her lips, she couldn’t stop wondering how her lips would feel like… how they would taste like.

Maren got closer and closer to Elsa’s mouth, tracing every inch to get there, as if every inch was the distance from the Earth to the sun instead of a few millimeters. They both had their eyes closed and could feel each other’s wamth escaping their breaths. They stopped thinking for just one moment, enough for their lips to meet. For their lips to reclaim what belonged to them, to reclaim each other. It was a soft kiss, Maren gently pressed Elsa against the tree as she started brushing her fingers all over Elsa’s face. Elsa let her hand wander around Maren’s face too, through Maren’s hair. It was a soft kiss full with all the love the girls felt for each other.

The moment the tip of their tongues met, Elsa was snapped out of this dream-like state. She pulled Maren gently far from her, and as tears started filling her eyes, she started slowly going towards the water, not stopping to look at Maren. Elsa looked scared, as if she had just seen the most horrible of things. And somehow she had, for her worst nightmares had just turned true.

The Nokk started taking his form below Elsa, and when she was on top of him she told Maren something that would haunt her for the rest of her life. – You don’t love me like that. –

Tears started streaming from Maren’s eyes too as she watched Elsa disappear on top of the horse. Maren let herself fall to the ground, filled with leaves and flowers, and colder than ever, now that she had lost Elsa.


	6. The letter

The Nokk knew where to go without Elsa having to tell him. The only place nobody would find her: to the house in the woods. She was on top of the horse and she couldn’t stop crying. Whatever fast they moved wasn’t good enough for Elsa. She needed to run away. She could run as fast as she wanted to, but she was never going to be able to run away from her own mind.

How had she let that happen? What was she thinking? All these years she had been hiding that part of her, denying it, and she had forsaken the idea to fall in love because she knew that she wasn’t going to be able to love as the rest of the world seemed to want her to.

And this was the first time she had someone in her life who really got the darkest corners of her soul. And she had just ruined it. As she ruined everything.

She was lying on the floor of the house. Her chest felt so heavy and empty at the same time. She was crying so hard and everything hurt so much, that she started to think that she was suffering for all of the days that remained of her life now that Maren wouldn’t be in it. Everything at once.

To be loved and not to be loved, such contradictory things and yet, Elsa wanted both.

The most frustrating thing for Elsa is that she wasn’t able to remember exactly what had happened. Who had kissed who. But she could still feel the gentle pressure of Maren’s lips against her own. Her breath. The little noises she made while kissing. And how light her chest and her mind had felt for a moment.

Her head was filled with doubts about what would happen next. What would happen when she came back… _If_ _she came back_. Nobody would find her there. She could just run away, the world was much bigger than Arendelle and the forest. She could leave and never come back, and everyone would be better off without her. She only brought chaos wherever she passed by.

She only knew how to hurt the people she loved. Maybe the ultimate act of love would be to just disappear and let them go on with their lives. They would miss her, but they would forget her as time passed by. And maybe she would finally feel free.

* * *

Maren felt too stupid. That intense fear that Elsa would run away, it had all become true and it was her fault. She was afraid that Elsa would never come back. But those last words still echoed in the back of her mind.

\- You don’t love me like that.-

She repeated those words over and over again. Trying to understand. Trying to put the pieces together. What could she mean by that? What made her think that she didn’t love her like that?

And then it hit her. She had been placing the emphasis in the wrong place. The importance on that statement wasn’t on why did Elsa think she didn’t love her like that, it meant something more. She was not saying I don’t love you like that’, in fact with that sentence Elsa was confirming what Maren wasn’t sure about. Until now.

Of course Elsa loved her back. The doubts in Elsa’s words weren’t about she loving Maren. They pointed towards Maren’s feelings. Maren now knew. And she wasn’t going to let her go without a fight.

She got up from the floor and went to her tent to write a letter for her:

You don’t love me like that.

It’s been hard for me to understand those words, but I have.

You, indeed, love me like that.

And I love you back. Somehow I loved you the moment I saw you.

Since I met you my life has only improved.

I had never pictured myself with anyone. And that was okay for me.

But then I met you, and the thing is that now I don’t want to picture myself with anyone that isn’t you.

You need to understand that I love you.

I know you’d prefer that I wouldn’t, because it would be easier, but I will never lie to you.

I love every part of you, as broken and imperfect as you think they might be.

I love you when you stare at the distance when you think nobody is watching.

I love the way you hold my hand under the stars.

I love how your eyes shine when you get excited about anything.

But the most I love about you is that you have shown me that home can be a person as well as a place.

We can be whatever we want to be.

We can forget about that kiss if that’s what you need.

But you need to know that I do love you like that. 

I’ve been trying to put all of the feelings I have for you inside of a bubble all this time, because I was afraid that, if I let them escape me, the whole Universe wouldn’t be enough to hold them.

But I am not afraid anymore.

I love you, Elsa, with all I am.

Please, come back.

When she finished writing she put the lettler inside of an envelope and adressed it to ‘Your Majesty’. Maren went to the place Elsa had left and called for Gale, in hopes that Gale would make sure that Elsa received it. It wasn’t too long before the wind found her and carried the letter away.

Nevertheless, Maren wasn’t going to just sit around waiting for Elsa. She didn’t want to overwhelm her, but she was worried too. First thing next morning, she would go back to Arendelle to search for Elsa.

The next morning she arrived to the castle. Kristoff was outside with Sven and Olaf. Maren didn’t even said hi as she walked towards Kristoff.

\- Is Elsa here?-

\- No, the last time I saw her she was really pissed at me. Why?-

\- Kristoff, please, even if she has told you not to tell me. I need the truth. Is Elsa here?-

\- Maren, relax. I wouldn’t lie to you about Elsa. She is not here, what happened?-

\- We kissed last night, in the forest. And then she ran away. I thought she might have come here.-

\- No, she hasn’t. Maybe she has gone to Ahtohallan. Are you okay? Do you want me to help you search for her?-

\- No, Kristoff, to both questions. But thank you. If she comes around…could you tell her something for me?-

\- Of course, anything.-

\- Tell her that I love her. As soon as I find her I’ll come back to tell you she’s fine.-

\- If she comes around I’ll make sure you find out, too. And please…when you see her…tell her I am sorry that I made her feel uncomfortable and hurt her feelings. And don’t worry, I’ll inform Anna.-

\- You’re the best, Kristoff.-

\- Good luck, Maren-

When Maren arrived to the forest something was off. Everybody was gossiping and whispering all around her. She wasn’t getting anything, but she did as soon as she entered her tent.

Sat in her bed, and looking to the ground there was Elsa. Maren was really happy that Elsa was fine. But as she saw her she felt deeply upset. Elsa’s reaction to the kiss had hurt her more than she wanted to admit.

Elsa lifted her head to watch the woman standing in the tent’s entrance.

\- I got your letter-

\- Glad to see that you’re fine. – Maren’s voice sounded angrier than she intended too.

Elsa got up and got closer to Maren, trying to hold her hand. Maren violently removed it.

\- Elsa, I don’t want to talk to you right now. I am glad that you are fine, but I really just can't right now. I'm sorry.- Maren left the tent and ran to the river with her eyes filled with tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I hope you are enjoying this fic as much as I am enjoying writing it.


	7. There's nothing to fix

Elsa followed her through the forest until they arrived to the river.

\- Maren, please. I know I don’t have a right. But please, hear me out.-

Maren turned towards Elsa - Are you going to run away again?-

Elsa avoided that question and looked at the ground, feeling hurt by those words resembling knives. -Please, let me take you somewhere.

Maren realized how unfair her reaction was, Elsa was trying and was there. - Sorry about that… That was not fair… I just… It seems I am more hurt than I expected. I am sorry.

\- It’s okay, Honey. You have every right to be mad at me.- 

The Nokk started taking its form in the river’s water. Elsa got on it and offered Maren her hand.

\- Please, come with me.- 

Maren held Elsa’s hand and as she touched it she looked at Elsa. They stared for a moment just like that, touching each other’s hand and looking. Smiling. Maren got on the horse and held Elsa by the waist, resting her head on Elsa’s back.

The Nokk started going deep into the forest, deeper than Maren had ever been. The girls weren’t talking at all and all that could be Heard was Nokk’s pace and the sound of the river.

Maren was startled to see a cabin in the middle of the trees. Elsa got down and helped Maren do so, by taking her by the waist. Not that Maren needed any help but, Elsa never said no to a chance of touching her. She let Maren inside of the house, while enjoying Maren's reaction to the hut.

- _Now I am going to talk, and please, just let me because this is really hard for me. I know I have a hard time letting people in. I am not good at explaining how I feel, even at understanding it myself._

_My whole life I’ve been alone and I am still trying to learn how to let people care about me and love me._

_I have read a lot of books in my life. Most of them described love as a huge feeling that made you feel nervous and excited. And when I met you, I just understood. But it wasn’t nervous I felt, I felt certain, safe, calm. I had denied myself to the possibility of love and when I realized that I could have it, I panicked._

_Since we met you have managed to get inside of me, in ways I would never let anyone else. I have shared with you my darkest thoughts and you’ve never judged me._

_I am sorry I run away, but that is what I do. And I have brought you here, because this is where I run away to, where I come to hide. And I have brought you here because I want to share it with you, and for you to be calm that I am in a safe place when I disappear, a place where you can always find me. Sometimes I will even want to run away with you and this place can be ours, and you can come here whenever you need to, as well._

_You have to know that I am broken, and you are not going to be able to fix me, because I don’t think that can be done._

_I will always have this urge to run away, and that’s not going to change either. I am afraid that I will hurt you, and I am afraid I am not going to be able to give you as much as you can give me._

_And I have problems about the fact that we are both girls and I am not ready to shout it out to the world just yet, and I can’t promise I’ll be soon._

_I need you to know that I ran away and came here, and I was determined to just disappear forever and then, then I got your letter, and I read it. And I understood. I’ve been wrong to think that I know better how other people feel about me than themselves._

_I’ve been wrong to asume that you can’t love me just because I can’t seem to love myself properly._

_And when we kissed… I felt for a moment like everything could be okay at some point and that we had a chance. And then I ran away and came here and I realized…_ _It is going to hurt either way. It hurt not to tell you, it hurt when I let you know. And I got your letter and… If it is going to hurt, I prefer that it hurts for something meaningful, because life is more than just being afraid and you, Maren, you are worth the try. I realized that what I win with you is way bigger than what I might lose if I don’t try. I would never forgive myself if I just let you go. But I need to take it slowly, and we need to learn because I am still learning everything else and…-_

Maren couldn’t stand it anymore and pressed her lips against Elsa’s. Elsa smiled through the kiss, feeling relieved that Maren was not mad at her and that she hadn’t lost her.

\- Now you are going to listen to me. Okay? - 

Maren held Elsa’s hands and intertwined their fingers.

\- _I think that you don’t quite understand. That I’ve known parts of you that you think are less loveable, and I am not afraid to see worse. And I love you, because of those parts you are so eager to hide away. I don’t want to change you, and I don’t think that there is anything to fix about you._

_I’ve known you for over a year now, and this feeling inside of me has only grown each day, and when I thought it couldn’t be bigger you looked at me, or touched my hand and you made it not bigger, but deeper everytime._

_I know that sometimes you are and you aren’t. I know that you sometimes have trouble expressing what wanders your mind and it is difficult for you to explain._

_And I know that you sometimes need to run away, but I know that you always come back, too. And you can run away every time you need to, and I’ll be waiting for you when you are ready to come back._

_And I love you, **not regardless** all of that, but **because** all of that. Because you are all of those things, but you are a lot other things too. I don’t want for you to change anything that yiu don’t want to, and if there are things you want to change I would love to be by your side while you figure them out._

_The only thing I want is to be by your side and keep improving your life and making you happy in the same way you do to me._

_Maybe this goes wrong, and maybe this goes right, but whatever happens I am willing to discover it with you._

_It would be an honor to spend my days by your side getting to know your demons next to you, and that’s the best I can think of… because it is by your side._

Elsa was looking at their hands still intertwined and a few tears were falling from her eyes. - You’ll get tired of me. Or I will hurt you. Or both... I don’t want to lose you.-

\- Elsa, I can’t assure you that I won’t get tired of some things, or that you won’t hurt me. But there is something I can assure you: whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together. I will always tell you everything, if I get tired I will tell you. If you hurt me I will tell you. Because in the end that’s what we’ve been doing since we met. You’ll have to trust me in that I will always tell you everything. And I will trust that you will tell me everything when you are ready to.- 

Maren let go of Elsa’s hands to trace her arms in search of her face. Gently pressing her fingertips against Elsa’s cheeks, lifting her face a little and looking her in those beautiful deep blue eyes. They stared at each other and stayed there in silence for a while. A silence only broken when Elsa placed her hands over Maren’s neck and the back of her head

\- I love you, Honeymaren.- She said before pushing Maren’s head slowly towards her own and consuming in a kiss filled with all their hopes and trust.

They spent hours in that house, kissing, laughing, caressing each other, laying in the bed. It was already night when reality hit Maren back.

\- Elsa…maybe we should go to Arendelle. I went there to search for you and told Kristoff what had happened. I told him that I would go tell them when I found you.-

Elsa felt embarrassed at her reaction to Kristoff. – I really wasn’t fair to him. I need to apologize, he was just trying to let me know that they would love me no matter what and… it was not fair I got so defensive.-

\- He’s sorry too. He asked me that when I found you, I told you that he was sorry for crossing the line and hurting your feelings. I don’t think he’s angry with you, he seem rather sympathetic.-

Elsa looked down to her own hand as she started to pinch her own fingers- Did you tell him about the kiss?

Maren placed her hand over Elsa's to prevent her from hurting herself with the pinching. -Yes, sorry if that was wrong. I was raised here, I didn’t know that being in love with someone was a problem anywhere, and less because they have the same physical…private traits. Here to be in love is just to be in love. I am sorry if I shouldn’t have told him.-

\- It’s okay, he doesn’t care. It was me who did, apparently. But I will accept it over time, with all of your support, I am sure.-

\- Do we go to Arendelle now?

\- First thing in the morning. Now I think we should get some sleep. It’s been a long day.-

Maren curled up against Elsa and gave her a kiss in the lips before pulling away with the most beautiful smile Elsa hade ver seen. - Yes, you are right. Good night, Your Majesty. 

\- Goodnight, My Queen.-


	8. More than ever

The next morning the light that entered through the skylight illuminated the bed, directly onto their intertwined hands they were hyponitized looking at. The only noise that could be heard were her breaths and the bed sheets against their skin.

They were swapping their attention from the hands to their faces, and back to their hands. Words were completely out of place in this little world they had been building since they met. But it was getting late and they had to go to Arendelle soon if they wanted to return to the forest before night arrived.

* * *

When they arrived to the castle, Kristoff went to greet them. He didn’t even say a word, he went straight to them and hugged them. – I was so worried, girls, I am so glad to see that you are fine. –

Elsa pulled back. – Kristoff, I…-

Kristoff interrupted her. – No, please, Elsa. I was out of line telling you everything I did. I am sorry.-

\- I am sorry, too. My reaction was not fair. And anyway… you were right, so…-

Anna appeared behind Kristoff. Who knows how much time she had been waiting to make her appearance.

\- HE WAS? I knew it! Does that mean that you are together?-

Anna seemed overly excited, as usual.

Maren intervened and looked at Elsa. – Well…you could say that, kind of? – Maren had her heart on her sleeve waiting for Elsa’s answer. She didn’t want to overstep Elsa’s boundaries or scare her.

Elsa took Maren’s hand and smiled. – More than kind of. –

Anna was outstanded by the vision of the girls holding hands. Suddenly she started screaming and running all around with Olaf talking about all of the things they were going to do together.

Kristoff sighed. – Well…she’ll relax… someday. I hope so, at least.-

Anna stopped talking for a second and took the girls by the hands. – Tonight you have to stay here, we are having a dinner to celebrate! Will you stay, please? Please?-

Elsa looked at Maren as if she was searching for something in Maren’s face that wanted to reject the proposition. But in that moment, few things made her happier than spending the rest of the day with her new family.

They spent a lovely evening. Talking, eating, playing games. Anna was so happy for them.

When it was later than anybody had guessed they all went to their rooms. Now Elsa’s room would definitely have a new meaning for her, now that it was hers and Marens’.

While Maren was getting dressed to sleep, Elsa took the opportunity to watch the stars from their balcony. A soft voice and a gentle touch in her shoulder caught her attention. Maren lowered her hand to intertwine her fingers with Elsa’s, and placed herself beside the blonde. And they stayed there, as many night before, gazing at the gorgeous night sky, holding hands and feeling each other’s presence.

Elsa kept watching the stars and broke the silence. – They look so beautiful. –

Maren who hadn’t even looked at the sky since she entered the balcony, speaked with the softests of voices.

– Tonight more beautiful than ever, Your Majesty. -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've come this far, thank you so much for reading, I really hope you have liked it. 
> 
> I would really like to know what you think about this fic and if you have any request for future stories or whatever, feel free.


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